Civilization is a concerted effort to remedy the blunders and check the practical joking of God.

• 

  Self-respect: the secure feeling that no one, as yet, is suspicious.

• 

  A successful man is simply one who doesn’t make a fool of himself in the same way more than two or three times running.

• 

  Every failure teaches a man something. For example, that he will probably fail again next time.

• 

  If all public questions were settled by shooting dice, fifty percent of them would be settled correctly. This would be five times as good a score as we make now.

• 

  It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.

• 

  It is a sin to believe evil of others, but it is seldom a mistake.

All aphorisms