Love: a temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder.

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  Marriage: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, making in all, two.

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  Beauty: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.

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  Pocket: the cradle of motive and the grave of conscience.

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  Patience: a minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.

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  Diplomacy: the patriotic art of lying for one’s country.

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  Year: a period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.

All aphorisms