Politeness: the most acceptable hypocrisy.

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  Patience: a minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.

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  Consult: to seek another’s disapproval of a course already decided on.

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  Education: that which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.

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  Pocket: the cradle of motive and the grave of conscience.

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  Diplomacy: the patriotic art of lying for one’s country.

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  Year: a period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.

All aphorisms