All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it.

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  Self-respect: the secure feeling that no one, as yet, is suspicious.

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  A successful man is simply one who doesn’t make a fool of himself in the same way more than two or three times running.

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  Every failure teaches a man something. For example, that he will probably fail again next time.

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  If all public questions were settled by shooting dice, fifty percent of them would be settled correctly. This would be five times as good a score as we make now.

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  Civilization is a concerted effort to remedy the blunders and check the practical joking of God.

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  It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.

All aphorisms