Aphorisms

Consult: to seek another’s disapproval of a course already decided on.

Conservative: a statesman who is enamored of existing evils.

Politician: an eel in the fundamental mud upon which the superstructure of organized society is reared.

Lawyer: one skilled in circumvention of the law.

Politeness: the most acceptable hypocrisy.

Battle: a method of untying with the teeth a political knot that would not yield to the tongue.

Economy: purchasing the barrel of whiskey that you do not need for the price of the cow that you cannot afford.

Backbite: to speak of a man as you find him when he can’t find you.

Beauty: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.

Egotist: a person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.

Education: that which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.

Elector: one who enjoys the sacred privilege of voting for the man of another man’s choice.