Aphorisms

Politeness: the most acceptable hypocrisy.

Battle: a method of untying with the teeth a political knot that would not yield to the tongue.

Economy: purchasing the barrel of whiskey that you do not need for the price of the cow that you cannot afford.

Backbite: to speak of a man as you find him when he can’t find you.

Beauty: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.

Egotist: a person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.

Education: that which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.

Elector: one who enjoys the sacred privilege of voting for the man of another man’s choice.

Politics: the conduct of public affairs for private advantage.

Politics: a strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles.

The man who listens to Reason is lost: Reason enslaves all whose minds are not strong enough to master her.

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world: the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.